


bad 4 us

by starkesthour



Category: K-pop, The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake Marriage, M/M, i've honestly no idea, soloist chanhee!, sound tech kevin!, what is this omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkesthour/pseuds/starkesthour
Summary: Chanhee's days of tabloid notoriety are behind him if he wants to keep his record contract. To complete his newly reformed image, his management wants him to settle down and get married. Chanhee refuses to even consider the idea until he meets his prospective husband: Kevin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> but who would i be without an obligatory fake marriage/fake rship fic.........anyway it's 2am here i'll come up with a better summary tomorrow just Had to churn this out.........listen to bad 4 us by superfruit and stream sunrise by gfriend

Personally, Chanhee doesn't think it's that bad. Sure, it's maybe a little embarrassing, but all press can be good press, right?

"No. No, no, no." Sangyeon's been repeating himself for what seems like the past forever. He never seems to get bored.

"It's not that bad," he tries again.

"Yes, it is that bad. Dispatch caught you the fifth time this _month_!" Sangyeon's voice is going alarmingly shrill. Chanhee tilts his head at him. "That's more than once a week!"

Chanhee says, "So, it's okay so long as it's only once a week."

"No!" Sangyeon yells, and oh good, they're back to this again. "No, no, no."

"I'm pretty sure I don't have time for this," Chanhee says after another couple of minutes spent waiting for Sangyeon's heart to give out from the strain. "I have to be somewhere." He actually knows he doesn't. Sangyeon had his assistants clear his calendar for this so-called strategy meeting. They'd both done it, too, the little traitors.

"You have as much time for me as I say you do," Sangyeon snaps. "When your label says jump, you say 'how high?'"

"Yeah, I'm not so much into the physical exercise thing," Chanhee says.

"Chanhee!" Sangyeon yells.

"Yes, I get it," Chanhee says. "Bad dog."

Sangyeon looks at him for a minute. "You should've _gotten_ it a couple months ago."

Chanhee winces. That particular night had not been his most auspicious. There hadn't even been that much alcohol involved – a couple mixers, some boys, and a little instant gratification. Personally, he thinks a little public sex once in a while does the soul good. The label, however, hadn't agreed. "I've behaved since then!" he says.

"Three months is not long enough to forgive and forget." Sangyeon waves the pictures around threateningly. "And then you just started up again a month ago," he picks up the warning memo from some of the execs, "and everything led to _this_."

"We weren't even doing anything," Chanhee tries.

"That's not what it looks like."

"You're going to get old before your time," Chanhee tells him. "And it was one little consensual and friendly grope."

"Regardless, the label wants it to stop. All of it, everything. You've got a tour coming up after this comeback, you can't afford to piss off –"

"Anybody, right? The whole damn world must like me. So no drinking, no smoking, no fucking –" Chanhee stands up.

Sangyeon raises his voice to yell over him. "And to ensure your good behavior and reinforce your good image, you're getting married."

Chanhee yelps, "What?"

Which is how he finds himself whining to his mother two weeks later. "This can't be legal."

"Is he cute? I expect you to bring him home, you know," she says, which is about as helpful as the time she let him grow bangs and his hair all the way to his shoulders before telling him it made him look homeless and ugly.

Changmin taps the top of his head. "Come on, the driver's here."

"Go away," Chanhee tells him, waving an arm around to defend himself. He has nails, and he _uses _them.__

__"Is that Sunwoo?" his mom asks. "Put him on."  
"No!" Chanhee says to them both, since Changmin's already making grabby hands. "It's Changmin. The one you don't like."_ _

__Changmin sticks his tongue out at him. His mom says, "I like both of them. Though I'd still like to know where you got the idea that you're important enough to warrant two personal assistants."_ _

__"Thanks, Mom," Chanhee says wryly._ _

__Finally successful in his bid for the phone, Changmin says, "Sorry, Mrs. Choi. Yes, this is Changmin." He thumps Chanhee. Chanhee pinches him. The studio's receptionist is probably going to try to have them thrown out soon. "He only has two assistants because neither of us could put up with him full-time. We each only have three days a week with him this way."_ _

__Chanhee snorts, loud enough his mother can probably hear it._ _

__Changmin tugs on his arm, pointing to the door. "Yes, Mrs. Choi, I promise I'll make him send you pictures and updates," while he rolls his eyes._ _

__Chanhee shakes his head, but he's already saying goodbye. "We're going to meet him now. Here's hoping it goes well. Talk to you soon."_ _

__"You will not be sending her anything," Chanhee says._ _

__"Nope, but you will." Changmin. "Come on, this could be fun. A taste of the committed life."_ _

__"You really think so?" Chanhee asks plaintively. "But what if he's ugly?"_ _

__"He won't be ugly. It's for publicity purposes, it has to be believable. Besides, you gave them so many criteria, it's not like whoever found him didn't have guidelines of what you go for."_ _

__Chanhee doubts it. It only took them two weeks to find someone, how good can the guy be? "But what if you're wrong?" he complains._ _

__"Then pray," he advises, blowing a bubble. That's the limit of his sympathy for the day. Changmin drags him into the conference room once the car pulls up to headquarters and then leaves him like his ass is on fire. Chanhee's the first one there, probably a strategic move on someone's part – this way he won't be able to flee if the guy's awful. He glares resentfully at the door._ _

__There's a loud scuffling noise and the other door – which Chanhee swears is a closet, what the hell – shuts quickly. There's a tall, adorable thing standing in front of it. Chanhee wants to adopt him immediately, despite the way his face is all scrunched up, glaring unattractively and looking about as happy as Chanhee's felt about this whole thing._ _

__He says, "That was rude."_ _

__Chanhee says, "Did you just come out of a closet?"_ _

__"No," he says. "Are you Chanhee?" He sounds like he wants to ask the state of Chanhee's mental health or something._ _

__"Yeah," Chanhee says. "You are?"_ _

__"The ceremonial sacrifice," he says darkly. Chanhee raises an eyebrow. "I'm Kevin," he adds, like that's supposed to explain anything._ _

__"Nice to meet you?" Chanhee hazards._ _

__"I'm your fiancé," Kevin finishes, and then they stare at each other until the managers start piling in._ _

__Chanhee ignores everything they say, which is basically something along the lines of _hey guys, this is Chanhee, this is Kevin, please don’t kill each other, oh look at the time we've got to go_. They take Kevin off with them when they leave and all in all, Chanhee thinks it was a pretty painless first meeting._ _

__Changmin greets him in the lobby going, "Well? Well? Well?"_ _

__"His name is Kevin," Chanhee tells him, "and he's adorable."_ _

__Changmin squeals obligingly and Sangyeon comes in while they're still scheming._ _

__"I like him," Chanhee says._ _

__"You do?" Sangyeon asks, a tad concerned. "So you'll cooperate."_ _

__"Cooperate?" Chanhee says. "He could be the dumbest person in the world and I'd still sleep with him."_ _

__"Um," Sangyeon says, but Chanhee's already got his phone out to call his mom._ _

__He doesn't have much to tell her, so they speculate and Chanhee puts up with what sounds suspiciously like tentative wedding plans. Chanhee's not sure on the logistics himself – are they engaged and then married? Engaged and then a public break up after the tour? Sangyeon says the official plan hasn't been entirely ironed out, but Changmin starts getting names and numbers from Sangyeon and then starts planning._ _

__*_ _

__"I can't believe you got me moved in with you," Kevin says from Chanhee's couch the next Tuesday morning. "We haven't even technically had our first date yet and we're already living together. Won't this be even worse for your image than everything else?"_ _

__"It'll keep things interesting. More importantly," Chanhee yawns and sprawls next to him, tired. "Why are you here at nine in the morning?"_ _

__"Because by this time normal people have begun their day," Kevin says. "And I thought I had actual work today, but apparently I was mistaken. These moving people showed up at my house at six thirty and now everything I own is over here."_ _

__"Wait," Chanhee says, waking up a little. "Do you work for the label?"_ _

__"Yes," Kevin says._ _

__"Are you on my team?" Chanhee asks, intrigued. "Because that makes this whole thing a little immoral."_ _

__"A little more so, you mean. And you know what they say about sex work and the oldest profession," Kevin shrugs._ _

__"Oh my god, you are. How have I not met you before?" Chanhee asks._ _

__"No, I'm not on your team," Kevin says. "I'm a sound technician. While I get paid for doing this I'm technically on their payroll as your new personal assistant. So, on paper, you have three. Congratulations."_ _

__"So you're on my personal team now," Chanhee says. "Technically, I'm paying you."_ _

__"What is it with you and this prostitution thing?" Kevin asks._ _

__"It's...a kink," Chanhee admits._ _

__Kevin says, "If it's alright by you, I'd like to hold off on things like that and learn the basics first, like your favorite color? We have to get to know each other eventually."_ _

__"Favorite color's black," Chanhee says. He leans closer. "Now, tell me, what's your stance on sex on the first date?"_ _

__"Very subtle," Kevin says. "No."_ _

__"What do you mean, no?" Chanhee demands._ _

__"It's a negative term, usually meaning stop or don't even think about it," Kevin says flatly._ _

__"Sometimes it can mean yes?" Chanhee tries._ _

__Kevin crosses his arms. "No."_ _

__"Okay," Chanhee tries again. "Then what's your type?"_ _

__"Girls," Kevin says._ _

__"No, seriously," Chanhee says._ _

__"No, seriously," Kevin says._ _

__*_ _

__Chanhee kicks Sangyeon's chair until he hangs up._ _

__"That was important, you know," Sangyeon says._ _

__"This is important," Chanhee informs him. "You got me engaged to a straight guy."_ _

__"So?" Sangyeon says. "It's not like you're actually going to sleep with him."_ _

__"I...was going to try," Chanhee says peevishly, and leaves when Sangyeon starts laughing._ _

__Sunwoo's only a little more helpful._ _

__"They engaged me to a straight guy!" Chanhee wails. "They match all the other criteria and they miss that?"_ _

__"Did you actually specify it?" Sunwoo asks, bored and tapping away on his phone._ _

__"I figured it went without saying," Chanhee says._ _

__"I guess they thought it wasn't important, since he's not getting paid to actually sleep with you."_ _

__"Well," Chanhee mutters unhappily. "It's one of the basic roles of a spouse. Ask anyone."_ _

__"Stop bitching," Sunwoo sighs._ _

__"I like Changmin more than you," Chanhee informs him. He really wishes Changmin were here. He'd be appropriately sympathetic. He might even mean it._ _

__Sunwoo stares at him, unimpressed. "Seriously, hyung. Get out of the car and go in to your house. I don't want to sit out here all night."_ _

__"But he's there!" Chanhee says. He's been there all day, by himself. Probably went digging through all of Chanhee's personal belongings and everything._ _

__"By your brilliant design," Sunwoo points out. "I still can't believe Changmin let you do it. Now go."_ _

__And Chanhee respects his assistants enough to know when to listen, and this is absolutely one of the times, so he goes. He's just not happy about it._ _

__Kevin looks like he hasn't moved from the couch._ _

__"How are you?" Chanhee asks suspiciously._ _

__"Really bored," Kevin says. "Can I go home now?"_ _

__"No," Chanhee says stubbornly._ _

__"Okay," Kevin shrugs. "Whatever. Can you tell me where my room is?"_ _

__"Um," Chanhee says._ _

__"I do have a room, right?" Kevin says._ _

__"I didn't think you'd be straight!" Chanhee thinks this is a perfectly suitable justification. He's not even sure any of the spare beds have sheets._ _

__"But obviously you thought I'd be easy," Kevin says, pissed._ _

__"...Don't take it personally?" Chanhee suggests weakly._ _

__"I'm booking a hotel," Kevin says._ _

__Chanhee scowls at the front door when it shuts. There's probably an expense account all this is being billed to, and he probably reimburses it. Not fair._ _

__*_ _

__They meet the next day to discuss their back story or something. Chanhee's not interested until he's had coffee, and he's busy staring at the door, willing Changmin to appear faster._ _

__"So how are you two kids getting along?" Sangyeon asks cheerfully._ _

__Chanhee gives his best playing-nice expression. "Great."_ _

__"Awesome," Kevin adds, in the worst display of lying talent Chanhee's ever seen. If their respective chairs were closer together he'd kick him._ _

__Sangyeon looks pained. "What's wrong?"_ _

__The two creative directors, or whatever they're called, shift in their seats. Sangyeon said they're the ones who'll come up with the Kevin-and-Chanhee crap they'll have to parrot._ _

__"He's boring and repressed," Chanhee says._ _

__"He's stuck-up and a slut," Kevin says._ _

__"Hey, maybe they're both right," Changmin says brightly, laughing. Chanhee worships him anyway, because he brought his coffee. "And it seems like they're on even ground."_ _

__Chanhee makes a face at them after he's had a sip. Kevin fidgets uncomfortably, like he's unsure what to do. Chanhee would feel sorry for him if he didn't hate him so much._ _

__"Look, I think we need to work through this," the lady Chanhee's never met before says. "You've obviously gotten off on the wrong foot. Let's just talk about it."_ _

__"Yes," the man Chanhee's never met before agrees. "We just need some communication. Chanhee, why do you say Kevin is boring and repressed?"_ _

__"Because he sat on a couch all day and did nothing. He's also very rude." Changmin snorts. Chanhee pointedly ignores him._ _

__"And Kevin, what problems have you had with Chanhee?"_ _

__"He called me a prostitute –"_ _

__"I did not. And it was a _joke_ ," Chanhee says._ _

__"He moved me into his house –"_ _

__"It seemed logical –" Kevin glares at him and Chanhee shuts up._ _

__"And he assumed I'd sleep with him."_ _

__Chanhee doesn't have anything to say to that one._ _

__"Chanhee," Sangyeon says, very disapproving._ _

__"And I'm actually only here right now to tell you that I quit. Thank you for the opportunity, anyway," Kevin smiles, and then the little bastard actually walks out on them all._ _

__Changmin smacks the back of his head. "Did you have to be such a dick? Normally, you're so charming."_ _

__"It was all mostly an accident," Chanhee says. "He's just overly sensitive."_ _

__Sangyeon glowers at him while the two people catch Kevin and presumably talk him back into it, since he comes back a few minutes later, looking reluctant._ _

__"We think you should both apologize and try to start over," the guy says._ _

__"No offense...sir. But are you a relationship coach or something?" Kevin asks._ _

__Chanhee snorts in agreement._ _

__"Try," the guy insists. "Begin something with good intentions and everything will be better."_ _

__Privately, because he has some tact, Chanhee thinks he sounds like a fortune cookie._ _

__"Sounds good," Kevin says. "Chanhee can go first."_ _

__Chanhee rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry I offended your archaic beliefs and I apologize for thinking you'd have a sense of humor."_ _

__"And I'm sorry for openly revealing what a bastard you are," Kevin says sweetly._ _

__Chanhee is totally up for this, but before he can open his mouth Sangyeon slaps his hands onto his desk. "It would do you both well to remember you need each other." He glares around, and Chanhee's surprised to see Kevin duck his head, too. "Now, the label rep will be here in twenty minutes. I suggest we let Jisoo-hyung and Sooyoung explain how you two are going to convince everyone in the world that you're madly in love."_ _

__It actually goes well, which Changmin attributes to Chanhee swallowing his pride and listening. Kevin doesn't put up a fight at all, nodding in the appropriate places and even chiming in when necessary. Chanhee probably would've cooperated, too, but between Changmin and Sangyeon they know his day to day life and history well enough that it wouldn't have mattered if he hadn't been there at all. The label rep leaves happy, half-convinced herself that they really were involved._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is still alive and kicking and the next update won't take eight months to post i swear

The grand plan is this: they let Dispatch find out as if it were a secret, and then slowly leak details like Kevin's social media and some of Kevin's old work records as an employee, which should be scandalous enough to keep anyone happy. They'll ignore it for a week or so after that, and then the company will make a vague "we are as surprised as you are, we are totally not conjuring this out of thin air and exploiting this for our own gain" statement, and Chanhee and Kevin will go public about their engagement.

Chanhee puts in a vote that he should handle the announcement himself, on the basis of Kevin being a horrible liar, but that gets Kevin up in arms about why, exactly, does Chanhee think he knows how good a liar Kevin is, he's only known him for how many days, and Chanhee shoots back about how it's his own reputation and career, thanks a lot, stay out of it, and Sangyeon threatens to separate them like unruly three year olds.

From there they'll do exclusive interviews – most of which will be Chanhee or Chanhee-and-Kevin, since everyone's pretty willing to bet nobody's going to want just the new, unknown boy who got himself willingly cuffed to Chanhee, and even Kevin seems relieved about that. They're still forcing him into all sorts of public communication coaching and everything though, which makes Chanhee extremely pleased. He hopes Kevin hates it as much as he did.

And finally, it turns out they don't even have to get married. They're going to slowly grow apart over tour and split once it's over, or possibly right before the very end for an extra burst of publicity, the team hasn't decided yet. All in all, it's going to be a whirlwind romance that nobody will remember in a year.

The only flaw, it seems, is Kevin's stance on photographical proof.

"I am not making out with him in public. Non-negotiable," Kevin says again, reddening even further. Chanhee would think it's cute if he wasn't so annoyed.

"It's just a little kissing. Grow up," Chanhee says, sighing.

"I'm worried you'll like it," Kevin tells. "You know, give an inch."

"That's pretty homophobic," Chanhee says, suddenly heated. "I promise not to jump you, O Holy Prude. There, does that ease your fear of surprise gay sex?"

"It's not like that, I'm not worried about the sex," Kevin says. "I'm worried about _you_."

"Aw, you're worried about me? That's _so_ sweet –"

"That's not what I meant and you know it –"

"Jesus, they are bad," Sangyeon tells Changmin.

"I know, right? It makes me want to get popcorn, even if just to make a point." He keeps chewing his gum obnoxiously.

"We can hear you, you know," Chanhee says.

Sooyoung steps forward, trying to regain control. Apparently, she's the head of Chanhee's publicity team. He thinks he should've known who she was, except he's never listened to her or solicited her advice, so it's not all that surprising he didn't.

"Kevin, you have to understand. Chanhee, being who he is, it wouldn't be believable if there weren't some pictures," she says. "What about a few carefully planned ones, right at the beginning, and –"

"No, it's never happening," Kevin says. "Sorry. It can be Chanhee turning over a new leaf or anything. Maybe he can abstain from all public contact in order to prove how different this relationship is or something."

"You're an evil little bitch," Chanhee says, and he totally means it, because of course, _of course_ , the PR team collectively fawn over the idea.

Kevin looks pleased with himself.

*

They ride home together in Kevin's car. Changmin took Chanhee's ride, said that since Kevin drove himself, Chanhee should go with him back to their house.

" _My_ house," Chanhee said.

"Apparently I live there now, too," Kevin said. "So ours."

Now Chanhee's stuck in the passenger seat of the rattiest and ugliest car he's ever seen.

"I practically built it myself, thanks," Kevin says, insulted.

Chanhee stares at him. "And how many years of your life did you waste doing that?"

"A couple months. One summer!" Kevin says defensively.

"Right," Chanhee snorts. "And how many months before it worked?"

"A couple more, maybe," Kevin says, this time smiling reluctantly.

Chanhee does not think this is cute, especially that lone dimple appearing, so he puts his sunglasses on to avoid giving Kevin the wrong impression.

They're quiet for a long time, stuck in rush hour traffic in Gangnam, which is only worse than regular traffic in that it takes two hours to get anywhere rather than one. Chanhee and Changmin usually fight over the speakers on their way home and eventually end up playing a variation of Mariah Carey, Rihanna, and RM but now Chanhee combats the silence while watching the people in the cars around them: it's kind of fun to do, see who's arguing on their cell phones, doing make up, or even sometimes sneakily changing clothes.

At an intersection, Kevin finally clears his throat and says, "So, are we actually going to fight for the next six months?"

"Oh god," Chanhee says, "You're one of those people that can't stand to have anyone mad at them, aren't you?"

"No!" Kevin sniffs. "I just like a little civility, that's all."

Chanhee doesn't believe him. Still, he magnanimously says, "Truce, then. I won't be a bitch if you aren't."

"I've never been a bitch in my life," Kevin mutters, then raises his hands in surrender. "But alright, deal."

Of course, neither of them has any clue what to say after that, so Chanhee hazards, "Where are you from?" Anyone could guess he wasn't raised in Seoul.

"Overseas," Kevin says.

"Yeah, I figured," Chanhee says. "Where? America?"

Kevin stiffens a little. "Canada."

"Oh my god," Chanhee says, fascinated.

"What?" Kevin asks. "This is why I don’t tell people. You wouldn't believe how many maple puns and bear jokes I've heard, and I wasn't even born there, I was born in Gwangju –"

"Defensive much?" Chanhee asks, snorting a little. "I wasn't going to say anything." Although he _was_ thinking of it.

Kevin makes a disbelieving noise.

"I wasn't! I was going to ask how it's like. I've travelled to lots of countries but touring isn't really conducive for exploring, you know," Chanhee insists.

Kevin volunteers, carefully, "My parents moved to a central area early on so it's not drastically different from Seoul. Just perpetually cold, I guess."

"So," Chanhee rolls the idea around for a while, letting the sentence hang. He's never been congratulated for making good decisions, but in for a penny and all. "Since we're dating, want to go on a date?"

Kevin looks over at him, probably trying to decide if he's trustworthy. Chanhee's tense, more worried about rejection than he's been in years. It's a distinctly unpleasant feeling.

"Okay," Kevin says finally. "Where?"

Chanhee's surprised, and he knows his jaw hanging open like that is unflattering. "I wasn't expecting you to agree!" he says.

"Fine," Kevin says easily. "I can retract it."

"No, no," Chanhee says, waving his hands around. "I just don't have any ideas. You weren't supposed to agree!" he repeats.

"What do you normally do for fun?" Kevin asks.

"Well," Chanhee says.

"Oh, wait, I remember," Kevin laughs. Chanhee scowls at him. "I guess it's not a group activity, huh?"

"Maybe not where you come from," Chanhee says, because he can't resist.

"Sure it is," Kevin rolls his eyes. "Sometimes polar bears get in on the action too."

Chanhee laughs despite himself. When he shakes his head and gives up trying to find an answer Kevin looks triumphant. "That's horrible," he finally says.

"People and their stereotypes, I swear," Kevin says. "They were hilarious the first time but now they're just tiring."

"Changmin would probably ask if you used to live in an igloo," Chanhee says. "Don't take it personally."

That gets a chuckle out of Kevin, but he gets a funny expression at the mention of Changmin and Chanhee waits. "What is it?"

"It's just," Kevin says slowly, "Changmin seems very sweet, and he's good at his job, right? But he sort of set me up with someone my first week here."

"And what, she was a strict vegan who wanted you to get a lifestyle change and you had to dump her so now you're holding a grudge against Changmin?"

"No," Kevin says, grimacing. "The _guy_ and I looked a lot like twins. Same hair, same eyebrows, same clothes and everything. I told him I wasn’t into men, and the guy spilled coffee on me."

"Oh, that's the first thing he did to Sunwoo when they met, actually," Chanhee says happily. "Of course, Sunwoo didn't like the medddling and he called Changmin a bunch of names. I heard 'dumbass' thrown in there."

"Don't they hate each other?" Kevin asks, fascinated.

"Nope," Chanhee grins. "Best friends. Changmin told him he should be grateful someone set his gremlin ass up and Sunwoo decided he liked his boldness and that was that." He shakes his head. "Don't let it fool you, though. It just means they're both evil."

"They don't always give you your way?" Kevin asks sympathetically.

"No," Chanhee says mournfully, and Kevin laughs at him.

The traffic opens up a little, finally, and they're home in fifteen minutes. Chanhee lets Kevin wander around, poking into corners and messing with his sound system while he orders takeout. Kevin doesn't venture upstairs, which is disappointing, but Chanhee figures he can work with it.

"Was it okay, getting a room last night?" Chanhee asks offhandedly.

Kevin looks up from his perusal of Chanhee's music collection. He seems to think it's both too small and too limited. Too much lack of Beyoncé. Chanhee's been biting back comments about snobbery for about five minutes. "Yeah," Kevin says. "Plenty of hotels in Seoul."

"Do you still have your stuff there?"

"Nope," Kevin says. "Management said I have to move in here."

"Good," Chanhee says, pleased. Kevin rolls his eyes.

When the food comes Chanhee tries to draw Kevin away, put in a movie, but he slaps Chanhee's hands away from the controls and keeps deriding Chanhee's taste in music.

Exasperated, Chanhee asks, "Okay, what do you like, then?"

Kevin gets shifty. "Oh, I don't know," he says evasively, and then, "What movie did you want to watch?"

Chanhee's curious but Kevin actually looks embarrassed, and besides, he's not sure his ego can take any more hits today, so he lets it go. Kevin gives the movie five minutes before Chanhee gets a rant on his movie taste, too, like what, are all his preferences in popular culture crap? That segues into modern culture in general, at which point Chanhee gives up and just sits back to listen.

Afterwards, Chanhee convinces Kevin that it's okay to throw the leftovers away and then says, "I have a surprise for you!"

"Please, no," Kevin says.

"What?" Chanhee asks, affronted.

"Is this going to involve anything embarrassing for one of us?" Kevin asks cautiously.

"No," Chanhee says.

"Okay, then," Kevin says. "Proceed."

"You're very strange," Chanhee informs him. "Anyway, follow me."

He actually doesn't know which room Kevin gets, since Sunwoo did it today while they were both out. Chanhee hopes he hadn't chosen a completely crap decorating scheme – his designer would kill him. So it looks a little ridiculous as they go down the hall, nudging open all four guest bedroom doors until he gets to the last one. It's the one furthest from his bedroom, which is insulting if it isn't laughable, and it's also, Chanhee sees, the only other one with it's own in-suite bathroom. That was probably part of the decision, too. The bed set Sunwoo bought – to replace the ridiculously gorgeous, terribly uncomfortable bedspread the designer had chosen for all the rooms – is a pretty neutral navy blue, but Chanhee runs his hand over it and it's ridiculously high thread count and the softest thing he's ever felt. He suspects it may even be nicer than his, and he almost wishes he could've come up here and stolen it before telling Kevin it was his.

"Oh," Kevin says slowly. "My room?"

"Yeah," Chanhee says. "You like?"

"Yeah," Kevin says, looking surprised about it. "It's...really homey. Really cool."

It is pretty cool. It's not to Chanhee's taste, really, but Sunwoo did a good job making it look like a classy bachelor's room. There's some art deco stuff scattered in a couple of corners and the heavy, fancy furniture has been mostly replaced with modern, comfortable substitutes. It looks very much like Kevin, surprisingly, though Chanhee realizes he may not be the best judge. He probably owes Sunwoo a raise now.

"Thank you," Kevin says softly, touching the bed hesitantly. "It's – thanks. Thanks a lot."

Chanhee shrugs. "Sunwoo did it. He's amazing, like Changmin. You can get him a latte or something if you want to thank him." He stands around awkwardly for another minute, but Kevin is still looking around curiously so he goes to hide in his bedroom to avoid having to help carry boxes up.

*

Jisoo, who is Sooyoung's second-in-command or something, tells Kevin at the end of the week that he and Chanhee have a date arranged for that night. Kevin gets to pass it on.

"Aw, I didn't even know you liked me that way," Chanhee says.

Kevin looks like it takes effort not to roll his eyes. "We have to go to this restaurant at this time and stay for however long for Dispatch to show up or something. Should be boring."

"Thanks for your high opinions of my company," Chanhee says. "Do you actually know what restaurant at what time for how long, or are we going to guess?"

"Yes," Kevin says, "I wrote it down. I just have to find the piece of paper."

Which is how they end up two hours late for their reservation. Chanhee volunteers to help Kevin find it, mostly because he knows it'll give him a chance to be nosy, and while Kevin goes digging around his room – his very messy room, oh my god, do you ever clean? You've only been here a couple of days, Chanhee says – Chanhee roots through piles of crap and unpacked boxes and drawers to see what he can learn about his new fiancé.

"I don't think it's in there," Kevin says wryly.

Chanhee doesn't stop digging through the drawer. "You'd be surprised how much you can learn about a person from their underwear. Oh, what's this?"

He pulls out a letter addressed to _Moon Hyungseo_. It's well-worn and probably a couple of years old, and very personal, judging from the way Kevin yanks it out of his hands and says, "Nothing, please stay out of my crap."

Chanhee chooses to try to keep their fragile peace, so he says mildly, "See what you can learn? I just found out your real name. That's so precious."

"Shut up," Kevin says darkly. He's blushing. "It's from an old girlfriend."

Debating what to go through next, Chanhee's vaguely irritated when Kevin says, "Here it is!" and holds out a paper that's been folded into roughly the size of a ping-pong ball. 

"Jeez," Chanhee says, while he takes five minutes to unfold the stupid thing.

"I squashed it into my pocket," Kevin explains.

Chanhee's not sure how it got from his pocket to the back of the bathroom cabinet, but there are some things even he knows better than to ask. Instead he hums noncommittally until he sees the info Kevin was given and then he practically shrieks. "Our reservation time's in fifteen minutes!"

"Okay?" Kevin says.

"The restaurant, Kevin," Chanhee explains. "Is about forty-five minutes away and requires formal attire, so we both have to change. Furthermore, we'll have to call a car, because I don't own one and I'm pretty sure they won't let yours on the block. No offence," he adds. 

"None taken," Kevin says wryly.

Chanhee gets on his phone for a driver while he tries to pick out clothes and give Kevin instructions on what, exactly, constitutes formal attire and yes, Kevin, fake leather shoes will do but _brown_ ones will not, especially with black pants, are you color blind? They're out of the house in about twenty minutes, which Chanhee knows is a personal record; he also knows he probably looks terrible. Kevin doesn't even look harried.

Then the traffic sucks, like usual, except there's an accident, like usual, and then the lights are out on one of the streets, which isn't all that usual, and they're not at the restaurant until 9 o'clock and the maitre 'd is not, to put it lightly, very pleased to let them have a table. Fortunately, Chanhee's very good at getting what he wants, and they sit down very late, very hungry, and, in Kevin's case, very appalled at Chanhee's negotiation skills.

"Seriously," Kevin says. "You might've tried saying please." 

Chanhee doesn't even glance up from the menu. 

"Or even," Kevin continues. "Explaining why we were late, apologizing, and asking when the next open slot was."

"Believe me," Chanhee says, still trying to decide whether the menu's really in French or some vague imitation that's deliberately been made more difficult to read, "my management would have killed me if I missed this. Probably you, too." 

Their waiter shows up, of course, right when Chanhee has just successfully narrowed it down to two choices, so he makes Kevin go first in order to buy time. Kevin hasn't even looked at the menu, actually, so Chanhee's a little interested to see how he orders food when he doesn't know what the restaurant serves. 

He says, "Steak, medium rare. And water, please." 

Chanhee gapes at him when the waiter's left. "I didn't see steak on the menu anywhere!" 

"And you speak French?" Kevin asks politely. 

"No," Chanhee admits. "But I try." 

"Any vaguely fancy, non-vegetarian-only restaurant in Seoul serves steak. Order it like you know what you're doing and you'll get something basically edible," Chanhee's still making a face so Kevin shrugs. "First thing I had to learn to survive when I moved here. Otherwise I would've starved during business dinners."

"That's brilliant," Chanhee says. "Think there's any vegetarian equivalent?" 

Kevin shrugs helplessly and Chanhee deflates. Kevin suggests, "Maybe you can find one?" like he doesn't want Chanhee to lose hope. "I just don't end up at many vegetarian restaurants."

"That's pretty impressive, living here," Chanhee says.

They find out the next day that nobody so much as noticed they were there. Chanhee holds that this is not their fault – how damn hard can it be for Dispatch to be waiting where they're supposed to be waiting?

"You were two hours late," Sangyeon says. 

Chanhee snorts. "Come on. These are the same breed of creatures that climb trees and invade people's privacy for a living, right? How could being late deter them?"

Sangyeon sighs and gives up. "Just show up on time tomorrow, all right?" 

"Maybe," Chanhee says. "Where are we going tomorrow?" 

Turns out they're going to another restaurant. Kevin makes faces at this one, since it's vegetarian, and Chanhee sympathizes and suggests they go somewhere else. The driver ends up weighing in when they can't decide and by the time they eat – "I'm starving. I can hear my stomach with my ears plugged," Kevin whines – they're halfway across town and have completely forgotten about the publicity.

"This time you didn't even show up!" Sangyeon yells the next morning.

Kevin is with Chanhee for this one – Sangyeon seems to have given up on intimidating Chanhee and gone after the weaker of them. It's almost working, too, because Kevin keeps cringing, ears buried behind his shoulders, when Sangyeon points at him.

"And not only that, but instead of leaking the story of your engagement you managed to spread more rumors about sleeping around," Sangyeon says. 

Kevin looks at Chanhee. "Do you have a twin?" 

"I wish," Chanhee says, depressed. "We drove around all night, I swear!" He says through the full-blown force that is Sangyeon's scowl. "Kevin and the driver can vouch for me, Jesus. And besides," he adds as an afterthought. "I'm engaged. I would never cheat."

"Okay," Sangyeon says determinedly. "We're telling Sooyoung to find you guys somewhere you'll have to be recognized. And Sunwoo's going to arrange your ride this time." 

He kicks them out. 

"Wow," Kevin says. "Do you always get treated like a child?" 

"Yep," Chanhee says cheerfully. "Kind of fun, huh?"

"No," Kevin says evenly. "Not for those of us who aren't contrary, stubborn people." 

"You totally thought it was fun," Chanhee ribs him. "Do you want to get coffee?"

"Can't," Kevin says. "I have to get back to work."

"Wait," Chanhee says, "You work here?" He makes a face as soon as he asks. Of course Kevin works here, he said he's a sound tech. "Can I come with?" 

"No," Kevin says immediately. "I mean it. No way." 

"Why not?" Chanhee asks. He is not afraid to whine. 

"You'll get in the way," Kevin says. "Don't start, you will, too." 

"Are you even working with anyone today, or are you just mastering?" Chanhee asks curiously. "Usually you can tell if there's too many artists here, there's more people running around." 

"No, not with anyone today," Kevin voice gets a little high. He's looking shifty again, and the elevator's just opened to go up. Chanhee has to go down. 

"So what do you actually do? What part of it?" Chanhee prods. 

"Nothing!" Kevin says. 

"Kevin," Chanhee says. 

"Seriously," Kevin says, and shuts the elevator doors in Chanhee's face.

"Oh, no," Chanhee says. 

He is absolutely not above using his power, looks, and charm to get what he wants. He's also not above just asking Sangyeon, "What studio is Kevin in?" 

Sangyeon writes it on a piece of paper and holds it up, busy on the phone, so Chanhee gives him thumbs up and hightails it to the third floor. There he hits a bit of a roadblock, because the sixty million year old receptionist will not unlock the doors for him.

"I'm just visiting!" Chanhee tries. 

"I don't think so, young man," she gives a little sniff and glares down her nose at him.

"Do you know who I am?" he throws out desperately.

"Don't know, don't care. I like these guys a lot more than I do your type, and you're not getting back there to bug them without their invitation, first," she nods with an air of finality.

"My type?" Chanhee asks skeptically. 

"Famous people," she says dismissively. "All high and mighty and sticking their noses where they're not needed. Like they need your help with any of your music they're fixing."

Chanhee decides to switch tactics, shrugging. "Fine, I understand. Could I leave a message for one of them?"

She peers at him suspiciously. "What's their name, yours, and the message?"

Chanhee tries really hard not to laugh. He'd bet anything that she has no intention of passing it on. "It's for Kevin Moon," he says, leaning forward conspiratorially, "and please just tell him that I will catch him one of these days."

She nods, haughty and not even pretending to write it down. "And you are?" 

Chanhee smiles, nice and wide. "His fiancé," he says, and turns to go. 

"Oh, oh, honey, wait there," she says, much friendlier. He turns back around. "Are you here to listen in?" 

Cautiously, Chanhee says, "I'm here to do anything I can get away with." 

She smiles conspiratorially. "Yes, Kevin is very stubborn about letting people listen to his tracks. I cannot believe he won't even let his fiancé listen. Stupid, shy boy. Come back here, I can sneak you in the corner."

Chanhee smiles. "Thank you so much. You're amazing." 

"Uh huh," she says, "Now sit still and don't make a peep. They can hear you as well as you can hear them. And grab a card from my desk on your way out. If you ever need help wrangling him don't hesitate to give me a call." 

She leaves to resume her surly guardian position and Chanhee drags a chair next to the designated door and preens. He's maybe half asleep by the time noise starts leaking from under the door. He doesn't notice it at first; it starts off with a slow guitar melody and drags in a couple of piano parts. The drums only hit halfway through, and that's when he actually sits up and listens, because it's _really_ good. He wants to hum along to parts of it, and normally he's not interested in instrumentals unless they're his own in-progress works but he wants to know who the artist is for this one, who they are and why he's never heard them before. 

There's a couple more and Chanhee practically presses his ear to the door to listen. They're still heavily unfinished, levels unbalanced and some timing off here and there, but he doesn't think he's too wrong in guessing they'll be as good as the first ones when they're done. It's just way to early for them to be in production – they need a couple more run-throughs before they're ready. He waits just long enough after the last one to make sure there's not another one queued up before he barges on in. 

Kevin jumps, spinning around in his chair and yelping. Chanhee winces in sympathy; he knows from experience that the headphones hurt like a bitch when they're yanked off like that. 

"Sorry," he says brightly. "I felt like visiting." 

Surprise is chased by anger, and boy, is Kevin pissed. Chanhee's taken aback; he's pretty sure Kevin wasn't even this angry when they'd been bitching at each other. "Get out," Kevin says flatly. 

"No," Chanhee says. 

Kevin stands up and flails at him, but a door across the hall opens and a girl who just screams intern pops her head in. "Everything okay?" 

"Yep," Chanhee says. "Everything's amazing." 

She blushes at him. "You're – is Kevin working on your songs, sir?" 

"Nope," Chanhee says. "I should be so lucky."

"Oh, um," she says, confused like she thinks Chanhee's being sarcastic. 

"We're engaged," Chanhee shares cheerfully, because it seems to be getting him everything else today. 

Kevin makes a strangled noise and the girl gets excited, bouncing up onto her toes and saying, "Oh, wow. Congratulations, I mean, I didn't even know Kevin was dating –" 

"Thanks, Jinsoul," Kevin says tightly, herding her out the door. Chanhee winks at her before he shuts it. 

"How did you even get back here?" Kevin asks, unhappy. 

"I'm your fiancé," Chanhee says dismissively. "Nobody would dream of keeping us apart." 

"See, this? This is why you're a terror. You use absolutely anything to your advantage," Kevin says. 

"Always," Chanhee says remorselessly. "By the way, you aren't a sound tech." 

"Yes, I am," Kevin says. 

"No, you're not." 

"I know my own job title, thanks," Kevin says.

"And I know music," Chanhee says stubbornly. "Those songs aren't anywhere near ready for production, you don't even have any vocal tracks, for fuck's sake, and no way will I believe they're all instrumentals."

Kevin gets pale. "You're wrong." 

"You're a writer!" Chanhee finishes. 

"Please, shut up, Chanhee, please," Kevin says.

"What?" Chanhee asks, "What's wrong?" 

"I'm just a ghostwriter," Kevin says. "But you're not supposed to know." 

"What?" Chanhee repeats blankly.

"I write songs and credit them to other people," Kevin says reluctantly. "I'm not an actual songwriter." 

"I know what a ghostwriter is," Chanhee says. "Why the fuck aren't I supposed to know?" Kevin looks away, fidgeting. Chanhee grabs his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Come on, Kevin." 

Kevin sighs. "Sangyeon said you'd be pissed. I'm not getting paid extra for doing this with you. But in exchange, when it's over I get –" he trails off, waving his hand around in explanation.

"You get to be a credited writer," Chanhee fills in. 

"Yeah," Kevin says. 

Chanhee steps back. "That's utter bullshit."

*

Sangyeon is not happy to see him back again. "Haven't you left yet?"

"I am about thirty seconds away from leaving this agency," Chanhee says calmly.

Sangyeon stares at him for a second and then apparently decides to take him seriously, because he sits up and focuses on Chanhee in a way that's only happened a couple of times before. "What's wrong?" 

"Explain to me," Chanhee sits back in a chair, cocking his head at Sangyeon, "just what, exactly, Kevin's job is and what deal this company made with him in exchange for doing this."

Sangyeon blinks, as obvious admission as Chanhee's going to get. He says, "Kevin is a sound technician. And he'll be promoted in exchange for helping you. It's an extension of his role as an employee of this label and of you, its artist."

Chanhee snarls. "Kevin is a writer who's not getting credit or paid for his music. How many others do you use like that?"

"I promise you, Chanhee, Kevin knew exactly what his job entailed when we hired him. He was aware that it included some creative duties," Sangyeon holds up a hand when Chanhee opens his mouth to yell some more. "Every studio does it. This is Seoul, Chanhee. It's the music industry. Not everyone who can write can sell."

Taking a deep breath, Chanhee says, "Fine. But I'm changing the terms. When he's done with this, he gets signed to record one real album." 

Sangyeon says, "Chanhee, that's not –"

"Or we'll be going to a studio that will," Chanhee says, smiling. 

Sangyeon pauses for a moment, considering. They both know the magnitude of his statement; Chanhee's never threatened to leave even when things got rough in the company. The clock is loud when they don't say anything for a long time and Chanhee asks, "Well?"

"Did you ever consider," Sangyeon says carefully, "that maybe Kevin doesn't want to record his own album?"

Chanhee doesn't hesitate. "Then that's up to him, isn't it?" 

Finally, Sangyeon nods reluctantly. Chanhee waves and leaves, wondering what the backlash for this will be. 

Sunwoo calls Chanhee late that afternoon. "Did you really threaten to leave the agency?"

"Yep," Chanhee says, digging through the pantry. He needs more groceries soon.

"Sangyeon can't have been happy." He sounds more interested in the idea than concerned.

"Nope," Chanhee says. He gives up on his search and goes to flip channels instead. It's sort of weirdly quiet without Kevin back yet. 

"So Kevin wants to record an album?" he asks.

"Don't know yet," and when he makes a questioning noise Chanhee says, "He doesn't get credit for his own music right now, and they said he could be credited if he does this, I said they had to sign him instead. That's basically it. Except would you call around, look for someone to sit in with Kevin during his meeting?"

"Yeah. That sounds cool," Sunwoo says. "I'm glad you decided you liked him."

"He's okay," Chanhee says, grinning. Sunwoo hangs up on him.

Kevin slams the door when he comes home. 

"Hello," Chanhee calls. 

There's no answer, and Chanhee hears him go up the stairs. Confused, he sits for a moment, but when Kevin doesn't come back down he has to go up instead. He finds him packing, which throws him a little. "What are you doing?" 

"What does it look like?" Kevin asks shortly. "This whole thing was a bad plan." 

"Why?" Chanhee draws it out. 

"You know," Kevin stops, dropping a bag on the bed and turning around the glare at Chanhee. "I came out here and took crap sound jobs so I could make my own music. And I'm almost there, I really am, and one day some executive's admin comes in, tells me I'm cute, and asks me how good an actor I am. And I end up here. And I actually liked you, despite all first impressions." 

"Okay?" Chanhee says. "What happened, did they do something? I warned Sangyeon –"

"Do something?" Kevin repeats. "I got a message right after you left that said I had to pack my stuff and take it out, and I have a meeting with one of the VPs or something tomorrow morning. HR is sitting in, too, which would've been the biggest hint that I'm going to be fired, except the note also said that the meeting was to reevaluate my status within the corporation."

Chanhee frowns. "That's not right." 

"Oh, really? Where did you mean to put me? I mean, you could've just taken me away from writing if you really hated my music that much. Or you could've said something to me, or kept it to yourself and not ruined all my chances." 

"Hey!" Chanhee says, indignant. "I didn't tell them to –"

"To fire me?" Kevin snorts. "No, you probably just complained to Sangyeon and they took it one step too far. They're good at that. But thanks so fucking much for –"

"Kevin, seriously, shut up!" Chanhee yells over him. He laughs a little. "I threatened to leave if they kept taking advantage of you like that. The meeting is to sign you as an artist."

Kevin stares at him, mouth open. 

"You know, so you can record a full album?" Chanhee says.

Kevin continues to gape. 

Getting worried, Chanhee says, "But Sangyeon said that maybe you didn't want to, and if you don't you don't have to, it's just an option, because me, if I've been doing music for a long time, I would want –"

"I do!" Kevin says, high and frantic. He stops, embarrassed. "I do." 

"Okay," Chanhee says. 

"I – Shit. Thank you," Kevin says, his words dropping off like a lead weight between them. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Chanhee says, grinning. "Though you're totally topping the list of most ungrateful people I've ever met. I don't think I've been yelled at like that since middle school. You have got talent at guilt tripping."

Kevin flushes all the way down his neck. Chanhee watches interestedly. "I'm so sorry," Kevin says. "But thank you. I mean, I'm really sorry, I just – thank you. So much."

Chanhee says, "If you don't stop being so polite I'm going to have to kiss you." Kevin looks torn between manners and awestruck gratitude. Chanhee watches, amused, until he realizes Kevin isn't going to make up his mind any time soon. Then he watches a little bit longer before taking pity on him. "It’s a joke. You're going to have to call and tell them you can't make the meeting, though." 

"What?" Kevin asks, alarmed. "Of course I can." 

"No, you can't," Chanhee corrects him. "Believe me, it's not being unprofessional, you do not want to start your career by letting them think you're a doormat. And besides, you need someone to come in who represents your best interests, and I can't go tomorrow morning."

"I don't think you should be there," Kevin says. "I mean, I get what you mean, but I want to deal with it myself, or with whoever. You're way more important than I am, and if you're there, it'll be...weird."

"That almost made sense," Chanhee says. "But fine, I won't come. And Sunwoo and Changmin will help you get a lawyer or somebody, and they'd be good to have there, too. Sunwoo's good at negotiating."

"Okay," Kevin says, dazed. "Seriously, thank you."

Chanhee smiles. "Anything for my –"

"You say fiancé and you won't be getting a ring," Kevin warns.


	3. Chapter 3

Kevin manages to get his important meeting rescheduled for a week later. Chanhee gets back from a promo shoot the next afternoon, decked out in leather and glitter, and he finds Kevin sprawled out on the floor in the sunbeam that's coming in from the window. "Bored?" Chanhee asks.

"It's weird not going in to work," Kevin says, head tipped back. "I won't miss it, mostly, but it's weird. I have a whole week with nothing to do. Feels like a waste."

"It's just like a vacation," Chanhee says. "And you could start writing or editing what you already have for the album."

"But vacations, you know they're coming. This was unexpected. And I can't start writing – if I do, then the contract will probably fall through or something," Kevin says, rolling his head to look at Chanhee plaintively.

"Yeah," Chanhee says, because he gets the anxiety behind believing that kind of superstition. "Well, I promise I'll be home the next couple of days to help keep you busy."

"Yay," Kevin says drily. "But we have that date tonight, right?"

"Ugh," Chanhee says. "As if, when the first two restaurants got nothing, trying again will work."

"Well, third time's the charm. And someone has to notice eventually." Kevin blinks. "Right?"

Chanhee shrugs. "Well, they're going to notice when you come on tour with me, so yeah, eventually."

"I'm – I'm going on tour with you?" Kevin asks curiously.

"Yep. And my band, obviously, and the dancers and the roadies and the –"

"Groupies," Kevin mutters, snickering. Chanhee gently kicks at him.

*

Nobody notices their third night out, either, and the publicists are throwing their hands up in defeat. So it's fitting, and a laughable twist of fate, of course, that, all else failed, they get noticed while they're at Lotte Mart, in the colorful cereal aisle, arguing whether generic foods are as good as brand names.

"This is already unhealthy as it is," Kevin says. "So why does it matter if it's Rice Krispies or almost Rice Krispies?"

"Because it does," Chanhee insists. "Generic screams low class."

"Careful," Kevin says, "your classist ass and ego's showing again."

"I don't even like Rice Krispies," Chanhee informs him.

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Then keep your opinions to yourself. You don't get a say."

"It's _my_ house," Chanhee says.

"It's _my_ food," Kevin says.

It takes them close to three hours to gather everything in the list Kevin apparently made, because Chanhee doesn't know where anything is – "How can you not know your own grocery store?" Kevin asks while they ask a third employee for help finding the eggs. "It's not my grocery store," Chanhee says, "I do the sensible thing and have stuff delivered." – and Chanhee's more hungry leaving than he was going in. Kevin won't even let them stop to pick up food, because in his world, having lots of groceries is a reason to not get take out.

Then they have to carry stuff in, and Kevin gives Chanhee like, three quarters of the bags all at once. The car squeals when Kevin shuts the trunk.

"Can I buy you a new car?" Chanhee asks. "I'm buying you a new car."

"No thanks," Kevin says. "And since you're planning on buying one anyway, be warned that if you do I will make sure it's parked illegally and towed the first week."

"But yours is _so_ old," Chanhee says.

"It's still functional," Kevin says, "and it's not your car."

Chanhee drops all the bags on the counter and ducks into the living room to avoid having to put them away. He hears Kevin sigh and he knows he's going to be called back in and yelled at, but then his home phone goes off. Weird, since it's unlisted and everyone calls his cell these days anyway, but whatever. It takes him a good two minutes to find the damn thing, since it's not where he left it last.

"Hello?" Chanhee says cautiously.

"Rice Krispies," Sunwoo snorts in his ear. "Oh my god, that is so embarrassing."

"What?" Chanhee says.

"Check your phone," he says cheerfully, and hangs up.

Kevin asks, "Who was that?"

Chanhee shrugs and pulls out his phone. It's turned off; he probably sat on it wrong or something. There are fifteen messages waiting when it's on again, which is worse than your average day but not nearly as bad as the time he forgot Mother's Day and her devil's spawn of a mom sicced his whole team on him. He was getting disapproving phone calls for weeks.

The first message is from Sooyoung. _Not how we wanted you noticed, but it's certainly convincing_. Attached is a link to a video of him and Kevin arguing in the grocery store – whoever had taken it was a little creep, because it cuts in and out but follows them through a majority of the story. Chanhee snorts and hands it over to Kevin.

"So," Kevin hedges. "This is what your fans do with their time?"

"Oh, come on," Chanhee says. "Some kid out there is thrilled that they managed to put their camera phone to such good use."

"Alright," Kevin says in defeatn, handing it back over and turning back to the atrocious amount of almond milk he's bought.

*

They wait the requisite week, laying low like they're hiding. Chanhee keeps catching Kevin sneaking off to his room. He can hear him playing, because the house isn't that sound proof, so he doesn't really get why Kevin pretends he's not. He's not going to ask and risk pushing his luck, though.

By Wednesday he thinks he's going crazy – he spends all day running around finalizing tour plans and doing costumes and alternately getting yelled at and teased by the band for not bringing Kevin to meet them, and then he comes home and gets completely, if politely, ignored.

"Hey, Kevin," Chanhee says, knocking on the door.

"Yes?" Kevin yells back, and there's some knocking around and a faint twang as Kevin puts his guitar away.

When he opens the door he's carrying the guitar case, and Chanhee looks down at it and says, "I've never seen your guitar."

"Only the piano. Guitar's not until the wedding night," Kevin says.

Chanhee says, "Don't you think we're taking this joke a little too far?"

"Yes," Kevin says, "But you started it."

"Put the guitar away," Chanhee says. He looks him over. "You'll do as you are, come on."

"Come on where?" Kevin says, depositing the guitar gently on the bed.

"We're going to a club," Chanhee says. "And you're meeting my band members."

"Um. I – I don't think so," Kevin says.

"You'll like them," Chanhee promises.

"Will they like _me_ is the question," Kevin mutters.

"If they know what's good for them," Chanhee says cheerfully. "And believe me, they do."

Of course, the first thing Juyeon says is, "Oh, look at the cute little boy toy."

Kevin smiles at him. "I didn't know the staff were allowed to say things like that."

Chanhee doesn't want to take sides, so he absolutely doesn't laugh, but Kevin is completely right – Juyeon's dressed in monochrome, and matches the club almost perfectly. He might as well be in uniform.

Juyeon smiles back. "This coming from a glorified escort." "You weren't good enough for an upgrade, I guess?" Kevin says.

"Okay, enough of that," Chanhee says. Juyeon's almost smiling, so that's as good a place to stop as any. Even if Juyeon thinks it's fun, Chanhee's not yet sure how sensitive Kevin actually is.

The other three are much more polite in their distance. Kevin mostly seems to shrug it off, except he doesn't say much until Jacob decides he's going to pretend to be a decent human being and actually engage him in conversation. They get along, of course.

"Really?" Juyeon hisses in Chanhee's ear.

"We're going to go to the bathroom now," Chanhee announces loudly, and pulls Juyeon out after him.

"Be nice," he tells him, squashed into a corner near the bar. Kevin and Jacob have their heads bent close together, abandoned by everyone else.

"But really?" Juyeon says. "That is the straightest gay fiancé I've ever seen. How is this believable? It'll take one live interview and then –"

"He's going to be fed all his lines, I think," Chanhee says. He actually doesn't know, but it sounds like a good idea, now that he thinks about it.

"Right, and what about the fact that he's so not your type?"

"He's _exactly_ my type," Chanhee says. "They got that down perfect."

"Except he's straight," Juyeon says skeptically.

"So are you, apparently, but it doesn't stop people," Chanhee says. "And besides, he's sweet."

"Yes, okay," Juyeon says reluctantly, "But that's not a check in the believable column."

"Thanks," Chanhee says drily. "Now would you stop trying to eat him alive?"

" _I'm_ eating him alive," Juyeon mutters, "How the hell do you expect him to survive the media circus, then?"

They bring back drinks. Vodka for Kevin and gin and tonic for the rest. Chanhee makes Juyeon carry Kevin's, hoping one of them will interpret it as a gesture of peace.

"You're back," Kevin says, surprised. Jacob and the new guitarist, Haknyeon, both dissolve into giggles.

"No, we're about to take off out the back door," Juyeon says. "He said we were just going to the bathroom."

Kevin looks dubious. "I thought it was a code to say you were...you know."

"You know?" Juyeon mimics. Kevin shrugs, a little embarrassed, and Chanhee pinches Juyeon's hip. He says, "Chanhee wishes."

"Well," Chanhee says, and makes a grab for him.

Kevin laughs like he's supposed to, but on the way home he's acting strange. He's driving again, says he doesn't like the fact that the driver could eavesdrop if they get a ride. Chanhee tells him he's impossible, that the drivers don't care. He could explain about the soundproof glass, but that would require effort. Kevin will figure it out eventually, he's sure.

"Are you –" Kevin starts, and stops.

Chanhee says, "That's the fourth sentence you've tried in the past two minutes. Please, for the love of anything holy, just spit it out."

"Are you and Juyeon together?" Kevin blurts out, and then makes a face, cheeks and ears reddening rapidly, embarrassed.

"This. Obviously this was going to come up," Chanhee sighs. Kevin looks over at him. "No, we're not together. We're not involved. We never have been. Any more questions?"

"No," Kevin says crankily.

Chanhee winces. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." "It's okay," Kevin says. "Just...don't take your unrequited love issues out on me, I guess."

"I don't have issues," Chanhee defends himself. Kevin looks at him incredulously. "Well, I don't," Chanhee says.

"Okay," Kevin says, and is quiet for a long time. Chanhee's not expecting anything else – what do you say to that, especially if you don't believe it – but right before they pull up to the house he says, "I'm sorry. If it is, or was, or used to be, whatever. An issue, or something. I'm sorry."

Chanhee says honestly, "It wasn't. We're really good friends, and I stick my tongue down his throat sometimes."

Kevin still looks uncertain and Chanhee gives up. He's pretty sure Kevin is one of those people where sex is almost always conflated with an emotional connection, and explaining Juyeon and their vast history of being lonely on tours and helping each other out is not something Chanhee wants to try to do.

**Author's Note:**

> kevin is NOT straight


End file.
